Time to get the taste of last Sunday out of our mouths. Remember when Mike McDaniel was the hot shot offensive guru everyone needed to have as a head coach? I know I do. After a successful run under the tutelage of Mike Shanahan as the Nine’ers Passing Game coordinator, run game coordinator, O.C and wedding planner, Mikey the genius was scooped up by the Dolphins and his narrow little never played the game ass has achieved an astonishing record of 28-24 and gone winless in two post season appearances . The only true success he and his team has had is against, you guessed it, The Patriots. Tua Tagovailoa is somehow 7-0 against the Pats and I think it’s time we changed that. Because, God Damn It….I hate the freekin Dolphins. Here are my Monster Keys to Patriots Victory.
Press The Red Button Kid
Thats right folks, I want up tempo – muddle huddle – no huddle. Action from the get go. Drake Maye wants to get out fast? Well, here we go…script out the first 12 (see what I did there?) plays and hit the ground running.
Speaking of Running
Leading up to this season, all we heard was “welp, at least we have a great running backs room”. You remember it wasn’t that long ago when we heard “well the pass blocking is suspect but we should be able to run behind this line”. Well what the fuck happend? Hey no one said read me out loud to your kids. The Dolphins surrendered 156 yards on the ground last week. Rhamondre Stevenson had 7 carries, TreVeyon Henderson had 5 , Mr. Gibson had 1…ONE. That came in the second half. Henderson and Stevenson didn’t get a second half carry. Set the damn tone, get under center and commit to the ground game.
Muddle the Middle
Everyone knows that the key to keeping Tua in check – oh wait, maybe everyone but The Pats – okay, the key to beating Tua is forcing him outside the numbers. Flood the middle of the field and force him to his third read.
Own third Down – The Pats were just 5 of 13 converting on third down last week – I need +50%.
Limit the Laundry – 9 flags not picked up for 77 yards. Not Ideal!
Own the Red Zone – Trade your Sixes for their Three’s.
Win these Battles Win the War
See the Bunnies, Hit The Bunnies – yes I’m talking to you Drake Maye…We seem to be going back to the Carolina days here. Footwork has been a mess, you aren’t squared up, you’re sailing passes over the heads of or missing receivers that are Wide Fucking Open (again not for the kids). open and RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. I am not asking for Maye to be Tom Brady – I’m asking him to be Steve Grogan (Shiver…ooooh – bootlegs).
P.S. This also goes for you Andy, this team can not leave points on the field hit your bunnies. God Damn kickers.
SET A GOD DAMN EDGE !!!
Timing is everything
Pressure up the middle on Tua and bumping and rubbing Waddle and the habitual criminal (Tyreek Hill) at the line and getting their timing off is paramount to messing with the McDaniel offense. I only need a second or two, I only need a yard or three for the wheels to come off. Get Home with three and get the receivers off their routes.
That’s it my rabid readers. Like Josh McDaniels, I’m not putting too much on Drake’s plate. I’m sick of losing to Miami. If you’re new here, get this – Florida is my least favorite foreign country – and I can’t stand Miami. The entire town is an abomination. If I owned Miami and Hell I would rent out Miami and live in Hell.
As always you can follow me on Twitter @Tmurph207s
